It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
