PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
4 words: hood of his car
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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