Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
