Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
