Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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