How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
