If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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