He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
