3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
