I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
