question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
