you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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