He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
