With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
