It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I understand Curling. That high.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
