It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
