Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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