you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
