So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
