I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
