That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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