In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
