do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
