I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
