i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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