The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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