Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
