how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
