cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
