Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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