There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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