Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
