I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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