He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Yo dont text me then not text me
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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