i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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