I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
