about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
