He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
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There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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