Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Holy shit dude........stairs
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