after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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