And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize