I just pynch a tree in the face
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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