You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize