Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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