On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
they're like a gay fantastic four
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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