I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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