I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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