Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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