I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
