i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
