i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
