As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
