I am puke
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
