I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
