this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
