yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
