As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
