I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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